Update

Hi its me Lina. It has been so long since I last posted here. I don't think anyone even remember this blog. I myself certainly don't lol. 

So, how is everyone doing? If there is a slight chance that anyone's reading this, I hope you are doing fine. But if you're not, its okay. Just know that better days are coming. Just keep on going. Its okay to cry. Just know that you are never alone.

Okay now that we had all the sappy stuff out of the way, the real question is, where did I go? Well, a lot has happened. So I'm gonna make this a little bit easier by dividing it into points. So, here we go..

1. Unmotivated

So I finished my Diploma. Finished my internship. While waiting for my graduation (which for some reason got postponed), I felt super unmotivated. Even after I graduated, I still felt horrible. I did not immediately fine job. I just felt useless. I felt like I've hit rock bottom. I decided to just work with my mom. Doing some boring shit. And just live my life just for the sake of living. 

2. Streaming

I tried streaming. I love games. I especially love the Sims. I love watching gameplays on Youtube (subscribe to Pewdiepie thanks lol). Streaming has been such a huge thing these few years, especially locally at Facebook gaming. I thought maybe I should try. But the thing is, I only had this very old laptop that I got when I first started my diploma. It has been broken several times. Definitely not in a good condition for streaming. But I managed to stream for a few weeks until my laptop decided to die on me. This made me realize that maybe I should invest on a new computer. This bring us to the next point..

3. Building a computer

At first, I thought maybe I should buy a prebuilt computer. I was browsing on Shopee a lot and I saw a lot of prebuilt PC on there. But then I also got myself into PC building community on Reddit. I also started to watch PC building videos on Youtube. Its intriguing. I thought to myself, maybe I can build myself my own PC. After much thoughts and some more Reddit posts, I decided I want to build my own PC. I did a lot of research, with the help of Reddit and Youtube, I compiled a list of PC parts that I needed. And then, the pandemic happens...

4. Pandemic

So, yeah. Its corona time! I should not be joking. But honestly, at this point in time, who wouldn't be out of their mind? So yeah, the pandemic happens. We all had to be quarantine. My mom had to stop her business. I don't have jobs. We only managed to survived with some savings and what not. I know others definitely had it worst. I still have enough food, I still have internet connections. I still have my family with me. So atleast I got that going for me. But I definitely don't have an income. If there is no income that means no money. If I don't have no money that means no saving to but the PC parts that I needed to build so that I can stream.. Its harsh. But that how it is. We still living and thats what matter.

5. Post-quarantine

After 3 months of quarantine, and the covid cases finally declining, we are finally be able to go outside again. We got to continue our business. I could finally start earning some money. I decided to get a braces. My teeth isn't really in a good condition. My two front teeth is like overlapping on top of each other and one of my bottom teeth is super misaligned. I thought if its not now then its be never. I know its going to get worst if don't do anything. So it has been sometimes since I have my braces on, and I could already see the drastic changes and it really makes me feel happy. I also applied for a part time Degree at UITM. Deep inside me, I really do love learning things. And I felt like I really love being busy and doing assignments and tasks. It probably sound weird but thats just how I felt. Eventhough I also love to procrastinate and do stuff last minute. I actually did applied a few times before this, but again I was in a not-so-great situation back then so I don't really take it seriously. But this time I felt super confident to continue my study. I got asked to come for an interview but as the day about to come, ITS CORONA TIME again! 

6. Second wave

So Malaysia hit the second wave of Covid. And we had to be quarantine again. Well, atleast  some part of Malaysia. And I lost my source of income (for the time being hopefully) again. I can't save my money to buy the last PC part. Tho I already assembled all the parts, just excluding the graphic card. As I am writing this now, I have a huge tower of PC right next to my laptop that I cannot yet use because it lack graphic card. Also, everything educational had to be postponed and or continue online. So that means my interview got cancelled. They said that they'll informed me until further notice. 

7. Part time degree

But after a few days of quarantine, I received an email saying that my student status is active. That means that I am a UITM student. So that means, I actually got accepted. My first class which is going to be an online class is on the next month. I really thought that things are going down hill again for me but I guess not yet? lol. 

So thats kinda the gist of what had happened in the past however long that I haven't posted here. Its probably not a lot or not at all interesting to some people but I just felt like I wanted to share it. I know that a lot of people had to go or are going through such a hard time. And I know everyone's struggle are different. I just hope that we can all go through this together. And if we can help one another, even just being kind to others, giving a nice words and wishing good days to people would definitely be super great. 

I'm sending virtual hugs to everyone. I can't promise but I'll see you on the next post, bye! xo